Half a month already?

Went on a great course two weeks ago - really inspiring : ) - on learning organisation. Initially was a little depressing, cause it was about becoming inspired, motivated people with purpose, taught by inspired, motivated people with purpose. It became clear that what they had was a sense of really caring about what they did - my immediate reaction was, "oh dear, I don't find much emotional alignment with my company's mission and vision, is it time to leave?"

Then the course moved on to help me identify what was the one thing I really valued in life - in a nutshell, what is the one thing that gets me up in the morning? Here's how they did it: They asked us to imagine we had all won US$250 Million dollars. We first settled every need we and the people we cared about had. Now with the remaining money and with no other duties left, we were asked to say the ONE THING we would want to do, that would add the most value to our lives.

Anyway, I came up with three: 1. Pursue relationship with God, 2. Develop relationship with family and 3. Self development - learning things that I want. Then I had to think about selecting THE ONE. I wanted 3. more, but my head was telling me that 1. would ultimately bring me the most value. That's when stuff started to fall into place...

I've been saying how my dreams are all used up, that the ones I have left are just too unrealistic or require too much sacrifice from people that I love - because of that, I actually resigned my dreams and said, I'll just live from day to day. Which is a miserable way to live!

However, the internal struggle I was having between what I wanted and what I knew would bring me most value brought something to light: all those dreams I've resigned are of the same selfish nature - they aren't really the things that are going to bring me the most value. But they are what I want. And it isn't the case that I'm living for day to day with no dreams left - if Developing my relationship with God is my mission, then my vision and dream is this: that I'll be that freely fully yielded Christian, with a fruitful life marked by love, obediance, service, dependence on God, thankfulness and joyfulness. That's what I strive to be each day... that's why I do whatever it is God gives me to do... and that's how I can align myself with this company's mission, or ANY company's mission that I happen to be working for.

Since I'm striving to obey God, than Col 3:23-24 comes in to play: "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men... It is the Lord Christ you are serving." and Col 3:22 "Slaves obey your earthly masters in everything, and do it not only when their eye is on you and to win their favour, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for man... It is the Lord Christ you are serving"

: ) ~! I can't tell you how much having that in focus has cheered me up and made going to work every day so much more meaningful... I realised I had gone through this thought process before, but I had been struggling with my human wants then too, and was unconvinced emotionally - it felt like psyching myself. But now, having my wants vs what I value ranked out so clearly, it makes all the difference...

I have three other verses I'm really enjoying at the moment:

Galatians 5:16
"So I say again, live by the Spirit and you will not satisfy the desires of the sinful nature."

Love it, because of the order... its not, "cut out the desires of your sinful nature, then you will be living by the Spirit," rather, live by the Spirit first, and you will not be satisfying the desires of the sinful nature... Positive, rather than negative. Not, what must I not do, but what I must do...
So how do you "live by the Spirit?" I found myself asking... I'm still digging through Galatians, but one key thing I found to date...

1. Don't set aside the grace of God!

Galatians 2:21
I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, then
Christ died for nothing!

Later Paul says something like, you began in faith, why are you trying to attain your goal by human effort (observing the law)? God's grace is given to me - I must never put it aside and think that I earn my salvation by my deeds or keeping the law. Conversely, neither must I think that I can LOSE my salvation by my deeds or by failing to keep the law.... a-ha!

Interesting too, about the role of the law:

Galatians 3: 23-25
Before this faith came, we were held prisoners by the law, locked up until faith should be revealed. So the law was put in charge to lead us to Christ that we might be justified by faith. Now that faith has come, we are no longer under the supervision of the law.

Yawn, here I am again...
 
What is it with cliches? I keep coming up with them. Won't even tell you the stinker I originally started this post with. Anyway.
 
Nothing much happening here. In one of my incredibly switched off modes today. I must lead one of the most boring lives on earth... not complaining though : ) - am inert & conservative by nature, and whilst I suppose the happening types out there will be rolling their eyes and being extremely superior about their own exciting lifestyles, I'd like to challenge them to equal me in terms of contentment and satisfaction... I mean, it's not important HOW you get your kicks, right? I just happen to be easily pleased... going to the movies is a great treat, or just curling up with an old book that I already know by heart.
 
Yay! So happy to be staying with mum and dad for a week, get to see my nevvie every day : ) - he's lovely!!! Just seeing him for an hour in the morning before going to work really sets me up for anything to happen.
 
Hmmm. Have to start on my story again I think... only have gotten to questionable part in story line and haven't made up my mind what to do with it... best is just to get stuck in I suppose. Which brings me to my other, original story idea... (oh, well, as original as fanfic gets : ) ) When am I ever going to finish this writing exercise and get to developing that plot? Sigh. Was flipping thru my old notebooks and came across a draft chapter for the opening and kinda liked it... have the chp plans somewhere else too...
 
Love stuff at Totshop, but costs bomb. (Not even counting the shipping charges - ack!). The Sozo bedlinens are my favorite thing on there at the moment - love them all, especially the Jungle one, but, Goldfish goes best with our current layout. Argh. Am so tempted to get the bumper, quilt and cushion... everything else, am sure can find ok stand-ins. (Everything else? That's just the bedsheet right?)
 
Sigh, that Goldfish set is to die for. Anyway, will try stores at Forum first. Think they carry some nice stuff too, I know they have some stuff from Carter's, which maybe isn't as nice (and probably three times as expensive as in the States...). Terrible, when someone gave us a full crib set (unused) - it's six years old and has little dinky dinosaurs all over... its okay, but ...
 
 
Hmm, trying to upload an image, but its not working.. oh well.
 

Ok, long time away : P

My hubby just flew off to Korea... which reminds me! He should have arrived by now, and should be calling me anytime soon....

Had really harrowing thoughts prior to his leaving and felt effects days before he had to leave... I really love him! : ) But it made me realise that I obviously love him more than I love God, which isn't good... You know, if you love God most, than everything else falls into its proper perspective - you have more love to give to others, and that love is healthy, vs unhealthy, as perhaps my moping indicates...

Anyway, committed it to God... : )

My tummy is showing, and its a boy!!! : ) ! And talk about small worlds, last night, went to Mt Alvernia to see Anne's new baby - apparently, Wendy, hubby's cousin, had just delivered at the same hospital too! Too bad I didn't find out til today, or we could have visited them both...

My sister's baby is an angel, am crazy about him - gorgeously fat, "siew ju" all right. Good thing about hubby being away, is getting to stay at my mum's and therefore getting to see baby every night! Hurrah! So far, I've only carried him twice - he's still floppy round the neck... also, my mum and dad can't get their hands off him.. and of course, his own dad - after work is like "his time".

I just don't feel like working ... had such great momentum this morning but got totally derailed by this request - time wasting! Plus now have new minutes to do.

But yesterday had a great thought about my job - in conjunction with morbid thoughts surrounding hubby's departure, thought of life ex-him and how dim it was, especially work - dead end, brainless, not exciting, not developmental. Suddenly struck me that God gave me this job at this time in my life - when I'm expecting - bec its what I need. Yes, it is all those negative things, but its also less demanding, less stressful (even within the company, there are many other positions that are so much more pressurised)- it lets me leave my work behind at the end of the day - something none of my other jobs let me do. It was terrible in May, but that's over now, and things are better... so thank God for my job! And, who's to say, this is the end of the line for me? As things change, there may be new doors opening : ) ....

Anyway, it made me feel good : )